choices

I woke up this morning wondering if or how my life would have been different had I made different decisions in life. What if I had dated my first grade crush? What if I'd been more adamant about Stacie driving too fast? What if I'd pursued English as a major instead of anthropology? Where would I be now? Would I have a family by now? Would I be teaching English literature in high school? Would I be able to pick up the phone and call my best friend today? Or would I still be sitting somewhere wondering if things could have been different? I guess we can always play the what-if game in our heads. I guess that's the purpose of fiction--to live the life we can't live today, to be someone we aren't. But what happens when you wake up one day and you don't know what path you're on? Or why you chose that particular path? Or why you should keep walking? What happens when you can't find a reason to wake up again tomorrow?