party animal

sometimes i feel like i'm so full of bullshit it's ridiculous. i seriously thought i could do this. i really thought i would be able to pull off both masters without a hitch. but the gods honest truth: i just don't have it in me.

seriously. honestly.

i know...i know. toot your horns. toss the confetti. she's having another pity party. i would like to. i would love to have just 5 minutes to have a completely supported full blown paranoid anxiety crisis oh my divine my world is going to blow up bonified break down. problem is, everyone is just telling me to get the fuck over it, that i did this to myself so shut up and just do it.

no one is letting me have my party.

and i need it.

because deep down i know i can't do this. it's just not in me anymore. i don't think it ever was.