the weigh-in

I realized today that this silent war with “Lindy” (yeah, that’s right…all names have been changed in order to blah blah blah) is subconsciously stressing the shit out of me. (Touché, yea!, one for her.) Apparently, like it or not, I am going to have to evaluate the future of our friendship’s “happily ever after.” And as is typical with all major life-altering assessments, I am obligated to weigh my pros and cons.

PROS
--When she is a good friend, she is a great friend (when you read into this, I’m not quite sure which category this one is supposed to fall into)
--she’s fun to hang out with
--she makes me laugh
--she’s a good listener
--she helps me through shit
--we run with the same troop (i.e. we have a lot of the same friends)
--she always drives to the bar


CONS
--she undermines my self-esteem
--she has a volatile personality
--she’s not happy unless I act like her lap-dog, who she likes to keep on a very short leash
--she’s superglued to “Zadam” (don’t get me wrong, he is a good ape. And quadrapedalism is fun and fine, but for the love of the divine, once and a while exercise the bipedal skills evolution gave you! sheesh!)
--she’s a control freak
--she’s a banana thrower…she likes to start shit
--I’ve lost some fellow apes (and their respect) because I put up with her shit
--the drama…good divine, the drama


As you can see, this is one tough verdict. The truth of the matter is that being her pal stresses the fuck outta me. But on the other hand, she is one of my best gal pals and I miss hanging out with her. In reality, if this were a dating relationship, I would have dropped her ass a long time ago and never looked back. It’s amazing how little we will put up with from potential mates, but how much extra shit we overlook in the name of friendship. Perhaps a lot of this is my own fault…for not standing up for myself sooner and telling her to back the fuck off. Perhaps I should have been more assertive, more aggressive. Who knows…?

Upon hearing the tale, my pal “Violet” described Lindy as poison. I think Violet has a very valid point. Ultimately, being around Lindy kills me a little bit each day. But she is an addictive poison…I’m not saying I won’t have DT’s. But I guess, as with any poisoned relationship, you just have to know when to put your foot down and walk away.